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12 June 2008 @ 10:58 pm
Where the moon should be [June 12th] [Fai, Himawari] [Tsubasa & xxxHOLiC]  
Title :: Where the moon should be
Theme :: June 12th, “I should tell you, I’m disaster” [31_days]
Characters/Pairings :: Fai, Himawari; Kurofai, Doumeki/Watanuki/Himawari implied.
Rating :: PG
Wordcount :: 500
Summary :: There was a law even baser than hitsuzen: Like seeks like.
Notes :: I am completely in love with the idea that Fai is to Himawari -- and Kurogane is to Doumeki -- as Syaoran is to Watanuki. ♥ Do want confirmation of this, or at least for them all to get the chance to really interact in canon. :3 Kurogane and Doumeki could carry on entire conversations just in ellipses while Fai and Himawari squeed at them and Syaoran and Watanuki got really confused, and it would be amazing. Title snagged from Steve Conte’s Stray.

He did not know their names.

The first boy was Watanuki, he had learned, was bonded to Syaoran and therefore to them all. (No matter what had happened or what else loomed ahead, he still considered them to be family, his family, and that much would not change.)

But the others were a blank.

And, Fai thought, this was wrong.

It had been the girl he'd noticed first, all tumbling hair and shining eyes and shining smiles too bright to be real. She had stood out to him like an oddly instant beacon, a silent flash of recognition and sting; and long fingers tightened around the staff he was passing over as payment for the children in his own care.

Something about her had been wrong, too; something that made him want to pass his hand over those curls and soothe, to offer what little comfort he could.

(There was a law even baser than hitsuzen: Like seeks like. And understanding alone was more than either could have asked for.)

But he'd known just as instantly, intuitively, that the touch would be not unwanted but impossible. It would have agitated rather than relaxed, turned the shine of those eyes into the feverbright of panic and confusion. He knew the way her skin would tingle, the way she’d hurt and hate herself for not wanting to pull away.

He knew that the bite of temptation would be more bitter than sweet.

Yet he still wanted, and she must as well.

He had come to terms with his apparent inability to be healed, if never his inability to heal – and maybe if he gave this girl hope he would earn some obscure right to hope himself. But he’d sensed that it was not for him to do, that there was likely nothing he could give for this particular child.

Still, he’d always had a fondness for futility, after all.

(At the very least, you can’t break me, he might have said, hushed into the mane of her hair. It’s too late and we already are.)

It was only far later, curled against a sleeping Kurogane’s side in Nihon and staying awake himself just to watch him breathe, that Fai remembered: There was more than selfless determination and the equally-selfless need to stay away in that other world.

There had been an equally familiar solidity, too: quietly watchful eyes and hands that did not understand the meaning of letting go and would not learn.

And if those hands refused to be taught, if they were made to do the teaching themselves, then perhaps the other boy and the girl were made to be touched and taught.

And maybe we really are all going to be okay, Fai marveled, not for the first time since landing in this world, and he did not imagine it would be the last.

(The still-steady beat of the ninja’s heart beneath his palm served as an answering Yes, and Fai pressed himself closer to smile against Kurogane’s skin.)
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Jason Mraz :: All That Lies
★ slowly twisting the lilac stalks: 〚❍〛patrick ❙ but bb this is how i love;aetherae on June 13th, 2008 07:51 am (UTC)

You pulled this off so well~ AND IT'S SO GOOD AND AWESOME AND JUST A+++! 8DDb
play hearts, kid.: Fai ● Hey hey you you. ♥vicious_lullaby on June 13th, 2008 07:57 am (UTC)

*FLAPS BACK AT* AJHGAGHRHGARUHG I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT~~. ♥♥♥ Even though I'm still not quite done editing because I am anal but oh well. XD;;

Sankyuu sankyuuuuuu~~! 8DDDD
narrow_my_bed: Will all our sins be justified?narrow_my_bed on June 13th, 2008 01:22 pm (UTC)
Beautifully written and well thought-out. Fay and Himawari really ought to meet at some point in canon (and so should Kurogane and Doumeki). I'm adding this to my memories.
play hearts, kid.: Fai ● Smiling is my favourite~~.vicious_lullaby on June 14th, 2008 09:46 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! ^_^; ♥ I'm very glad you liked this -- and I'm also glad I'm not the only one who thinks they all ought to meet. XD
Blindmouse: marcieblindmouse on June 2nd, 2013 01:00 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is lovely.